One Person We’ll Never Get Over

Even long after the relationship dies and all connections perish, this person stays alive in our consciousness.

It’s not like we spend our entire day fantasizing about them or reminiscing. It’s not like our lives stopped when they left it. It’s not like we haven’t moved on—we might even be building a relationship with someone new.

But this person’s existence is like an alarm clock that rings every once in a while. They’re like the mud that resides at the bottom of a glass—if stirred, it instantly fills the calm water.

Any object, sound, taste or smell related to them, can make them cross our minds again.

If our eyes met, we would still see the same colors and patterns we used to. The smell of their breath and skin would still linger at the end of our nostrils. The comfort they made us feel is undeniable and the exhilaration they brought about is irreplaceable.

They seem to live in us even though we don’t want them to. They’re like a plant that keeps growing when we don’t water it. A cloud that keeps on reappearing when it’s sunny.

And their memory isn’t always welcome. Sometimes, it is penetrating, wretched.

What’s even more agonizing is how our world turns upside down when they reach for us. The mixed emotions they inflict on us are enough to prove how they still controls every single piece of us—and not in a good way.

We know, deep down, if this person wants to meet—or heaven-forbid, run away with us—we wouldn’t hesitate. “No” seems to be the toughest word to say to them. We’d step on our pride, our pain, our strength, just to make it to them.

But we don’t admit this to anyone—we’re even ashamed to say it to ourselves. What kind of irrational person would still be hooked on someone who doesn’t really care about them?

They can never become strangers or mere faces we used to know. They will always be the home in which we felt most comfortable. They’re our shelter, our nature, our universe—everything we have ever known and every planet we’ll ever orbit.

Looking at them is like reading through the words in our journal. They are the pages that contain our joy, our foolishness. They are the box below our bed that knows our secrets, strengths and weaknesses.

We want to get over them. We want to wake up one morning and pretend they don’t exist. We want to look at them as we would look at any other living thing.

And the reason why we’ll never get over them is because they got over us.

It’s like a sickening psychological game that seems to have no end. Unconsciously, we wanted them so badly because they didn’t want us with the same intensity. Maybe they were already over us while they were still with us. Maybe they were never into us in the first place.

We come up with a million different reasons why they don’t feel for us what we feel for them. Why they left when they could’ve stayed. Why they didn’t reconcile when we were ready to take them back.

Worse than the reasons are the excuses we create for them—and we are so damn good at it. But these excuses are nothing but a solace to our bruised self.

Perhaps, one day, we will stop these lies. We will accept that this person is over us. We can keep lying to ourselves and repeating the buts and whys. We can keep knocking our head against a wall, or we can face the truth.

It will hurt. But, as we know, for a wound to be mended, we must have enough courage to handle the pain and stitch it back together.

It’s tough to admit that this person is over us. But, if we do, we might just get over them. Maybe it won’t be until we’re older. One day their alarm clock will go off in our minds, and we may just smile.

While healing may never feel complete, we must keep working to get there. And if we can’t completely eradicate the lies we tell ourselves, then we just have to live with them until they expire on their own accord.

Time is often the greatest healer, but the one that’s even better is genuine love. Love that shows us what it means to stay.

Because just like some people are good at leaving, others are good at staying. And maybe when we find the people who stay, we will finally get over the ones who left.

Author: Elyane Youssef

Source: Elephant Journal via Ideaspots

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Three Love of Life!

It’s been said that in real we only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.

Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.

This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.

Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.

We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is.

And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.

Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now.

What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love.

“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.” ~ Unknown

By Kate Rose

Source: Elephant Journal via Mystical Raven

When You Travel On Your Own?

Travelling on your own can change a lot about how you see the world and other people. Most of us would rather travel with their friends, partner or family. However, there are lots of solo travelers. If you like to become one of them, don’t be scared. Travelling solo can be helpful. Nevertheless, you have to remember seven important things:

1. You need to become more independent.

Solo travelling is a habit of independent people. If you are too afraid to do things on your own, then maybe this isn’t something you should try.

If you do desire to try it, then remember that this experience will make you more independent, one way or another.

You will need to learn how to drive your way through foreign means of transportation. You will need to get to find your way in big roads, where people might not speak your language. You will need to learn that this can be scary but it’s also fun, and it’s you who will choose the perspective.

Sometimes, you will need to find solutions to issues you will face. Imagine, what would you do if someone stole your wallet or if you lost your ID? You need to be prepared for such situations and know how to deal with them by yourself.
Exploring on your own is amazing, but it can be tiring and adventurous. If you’re ready for that, then go ahead and get the chance!

2. You will become more sociable.

If you ever had trust issues or were too shy, then now’s the time to change that! Travelling on your own requires that you are willing to communicate with foreign people, make new friends and appreciate that people from other countries are different and have their own habits.

Of course, you should be careful and not trust anyone. But you should also give people the opportunity to talk to you and share their experiences. There’s nothing better than learning things about other cultures and talking about yours.

Having friends from places from all over the world can make you a better person and, also, give you the chance to travel again.

Accept other people’s help and kindness and offer yours. Be honest and communicative. You won’t regret making new friends, that’s for sure.

3. You will feel alone sometimes.

Don’t think that by moving away from home on your own you are somehow going to condemn yourself to a six-month trip of solitude and loneliness. By going backpacking anywhere around the world, you are going to meet like-minded people who are excited in travelling as much as you and who have gone travelling solo too. You get to meet people who actively want to do the things you do rather than having to convince friends into an experience they might not enjoy or be ready for.

However, there will be moments of solitude. Then, a great book, a magazine or even postcards to write or your travel journal to note in – are entirely legitimate activities at a bar or restaurant if you get to feeling a little bored, lonely or exposed, so take one of them with you for all occasions. And as a last resort, your smartphone is always there.

4. You will feel free.

If you unusually spend important time alone, you may be amazed at how pleasant it can be. When was the last time you actually listened to only your thoughts and satisfied only your dreams? Regardless the destination, a solo trip can be an inner-directed, powerful, life-changing experience.

Imagine sitting on a peaceful beach at sunset or taking an invigorating morning hike without having to make a conversation with anyone. That’s real freedom!

5. You will learn how to love yourself.

As mentioned before, solo travelling will make you stronger and more independent. You will finally realize that you’re capable for more than you had ever imagined. You will now understand that you have your own story to tell.

You will also appreciate spending time on your own while being in the most beautiful parts of the world. You’ll realize that happiness comes from our inner self and not from the others. Other people can make our life even better sometimes, but it’s us, ourselves, that can indeed make us happy.

Find your inner peace by travelling alone, and you will love yourself even more.

6. You will learn new skills.

One of the best ways to have yourself entertained on your travels is to try and learn new things. I’m talking about cooking classes, painting classes, language classes… anything that allows you to learn a new skill.

Additionally, the more you travel alone, the more likely you are to feel like you can take any challenge with aplomb. Transit strike in France? No sweat. Stuck overnight at O’Hare? You can deal with that. No English menu at a Bangkok restaurant? Not a problem. Of course, the further confident you feel when travelling alone, the more confident you’ll feel at home. Whenever one of those life’s small challenges emerge, you can just remind yourself of all that you have managed on your own all over the world—it’ll put your problems in perspective.

7. You will remember this experience forever.

Exploring the world all by yourself, enjoying an amazing sunrise while looking at the Pacific, walking in the Sahara’s desert, climbing Switzerland’s mountains are only some of the amazing experiences you can get by travelling on your own.

Travelling solo requires free spirit, passion for authentic connection and hope that happiness is on the way. The experience of travelling solo will be exciting, adventurous, sometimes scary. All of these will make it unforgettable.

Traveling makes us far happier than any material wealth ever does!

Why do we head for the shops with such determination as soon as we have money in our wallets? With every new purchase we feel a little happier, but a few days later that satisfaction is often gone without a trace. I decided it was time to get to grips with this problem once and for all, and to make sense of how I can all find true happiness.

It turns out that the main impediment to happiness is adaptation. As soon as something we’ve bought becomes ordinary and unexciting, the level of life satisfaction we feel falls, and we’re forced to search around for the next purchase. This process is repeated again and again.

However, research carried out at Cornell University has found a way to break this damaging cycle. Psychology professor Thomas Gilovich has shown that we experience the same increase in happiness when we buy something we want and when we go traveling. But — and here’s the most important point — the amount of happiness we derive from our purchase falls over time, whereas the memories of our traveling experience continue to supply us with happiness hormones for much longer.

Going to various kinds of unusual events, going on trips, learning new skills, even extreme sport — all of these are an ideal source of happiness for each and every one of us. A new device or even a new car will eventually become just another ordinary object we own, or will otherwise become old and outdated. Every new memory, on the other hand, becomes a real source of joy that stays with us for our whole lives.

Based on materials from fastcoexist

The day I decided to quit!

It was one seemingly ordinary day when I decided to QUIT… All of a sudden I made a decision to quit my job, my relationship and finally my spirituality. I just wanted to quit my life.

But before that, I went to the wood to have one last talk with God.

I started: “God, can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer really surprised me: “Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

I replied: “Yes. When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor.Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

But still, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

He said: “In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.”

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

After that, He asked me: “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo.I will never quit on you.”

“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He added. ”The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.” God said to me: “Your time will come”

“You will rise high”.

I asked: “How high should I rise?”

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He also asked.

I was confused: “As high as it can?”

”Yes.” He said, “Give Me glory by rising as high as you can.”

After this conversation I left the forest and I wrote this amazing story. I really hope that these words can help you to see that God will never give up on you.

You should Never, Never, Never, Give up.

Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Source : Whatsapp forward

She’s a high-quality woman!

She’s a Queen

Throughout your life, all you guys will date many different kinds of girls. Some will be too clingy, some too indifferent. Some will make you the center of their entire world and some will become the center of yours. But just once in your lifetime, you’ll meet this girl who’ll stand out from all of them, who’ll make you wonder why there aren’t more of these girls in this world and who’ll truly be a high-quality girl.

If you were ever lucky enough to meet one of them, you must have noticed these signs:

1. She inspires you to reach your true potential and to achieve greater things without being too demanding about it. She won’t force you to pursue the things you should because she trusts you enough to know that you’ll take the right decisions.

2. She doesn’t play childish games or make attempts to get you jealous. She doesn’t have any insecurities about her relationship. She knows what she’s worth and she doesn’t feel the need to keep proving it to you or to herself.

3. She doesn’t act like the whole world revolves around her. She wants love and respect from you and she’s willing to offer you the same. She won’t expect you to suppress your own desires just to keep her happy all the time.

4. She doesn’t need you to be present in her life 24/7. She understands that you’re both two independent individuals who have a life outside of this relationship as well. You both give each other ample space and time to invest in your friends, family and career.

5. You’ve never felt anxious about taking her to meet any of your friends or even your parents, for that matter. You’re aware that she can carry herself well and interact with all kinds of people. She’s wise enough to know what topics to discuss with your parents and when she’s with your friends, she can let loose and enjoy a good time.

6. She knows how to take care of herself. She never wanted a relationship just so she could depend on someone for all kinds of physical, financial and mental support. No, she was in this to enjoy your company as an equal, to split all the bills, and to make sure that one person in the relationship isn’t being over-burdened.

7. Her social media presence is not something that she’ll ever need to hide or be embarrassed about. She knows how to present herself in front of people, whether it’s in person or on a computer screen.

8. She is never shy in the bedroom. If there’s something that she doesn’t or does want to do, she’ll come right out and say it. She’ll even explain her reasons for it instead of just getting awkward. She doesn’t act like your intimacy is something to be hidden and never talked about. She’s mature enough to accept it as a completely normal and healthy part of your relationship, the part that actually keeps the spark alive between you two.

9. She has strong opinions on almost every topic. And she’ll never shy down from expressing them just to avoid arguments or to keep everyone happy. But this doesn’t mean that she’ll ever impose those opinions on you or anyone else. She is open to discussions and any disagreement you have won’t turn into a raging battle.

10. If you have a fight or an argument, she won’t to try to end it by stating stereotypes like ‘all men are the same’ or ‘you men can’t ever understand us’. She realizes that every situation is different and you need to discuss the cause behind your fight rather than trying to put each other down with generalized statements.

11. She is sure about her purpose in life. She has defined goals and benchmarks for herself and they won’t get affected by any obstacles that come her way.

12. You feel like the luckiest guy in the world when you’re with her. Because one thing you’re sure of is that someone as amazing as her wouldn’t just date any guy. She is a strong independent woman and she isn’t afraid of being alone – so she must really like you if she has chosen to share her life with you!

Talk to me

So, guys, have you found your high-quality woman yet? How does it feel? Let me know in the comments below!

Sourced from : http://www.relrules.com

Good Reads!

The day I decided to quit! 

Why Modern Relationships Are Falling Apart So Easily Today! 

She’s a high-quality woman!

Before You Say ‘I Love You’

Why I Love Travelling Alone!

Continue reading “Good Reads!”