Three Love of Life!

It’s been said that in real we only fall in love with three people in our lifetime.

Yet, it’s also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reason.

Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It’s the idealistic love—the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.

This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

It’s a love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.

Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it’s the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It’s the love that we wished was right.

And the third is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.

We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.

Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is.

And then there may be those people who fall in love once and find it passionately lasts until their last breath. Those faded and worn pictures of our grandparents who seemed just as in love as they walked hand-in-hand at age 80 as they did in their wedding picture—the kind that leaves us wondering if we really know how to love at all.

Just because it has never worked out before doesn’t mean that it won’t work out now.

What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.

And it’s that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you’ll stumble into love.

“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.” ~ Unknown

By Kate Rose

Source: Elephant Journal via Mystical Raven

Advertisements

She’s a high-quality woman!

She’s a Queen

Throughout your life, all you guys will date many different kinds of girls. Some will be too clingy, some too indifferent. Some will make you the center of their entire world and some will become the center of yours. But just once in your lifetime, you’ll meet this girl who’ll stand out from all of them, who’ll make you wonder why there aren’t more of these girls in this world and who’ll truly be a high-quality girl.

If you were ever lucky enough to meet one of them, you must have noticed these signs:

1. She inspires you to reach your true potential and to achieve greater things without being too demanding about it. She won’t force you to pursue the things you should because she trusts you enough to know that you’ll take the right decisions.

2. She doesn’t play childish games or make attempts to get you jealous. She doesn’t have any insecurities about her relationship. She knows what she’s worth and she doesn’t feel the need to keep proving it to you or to herself.

3. She doesn’t act like the whole world revolves around her. She wants love and respect from you and she’s willing to offer you the same. She won’t expect you to suppress your own desires just to keep her happy all the time.

4. She doesn’t need you to be present in her life 24/7. She understands that you’re both two independent individuals who have a life outside of this relationship as well. You both give each other ample space and time to invest in your friends, family and career.

5. You’ve never felt anxious about taking her to meet any of your friends or even your parents, for that matter. You’re aware that she can carry herself well and interact with all kinds of people. She’s wise enough to know what topics to discuss with your parents and when she’s with your friends, she can let loose and enjoy a good time.

6. She knows how to take care of herself. She never wanted a relationship just so she could depend on someone for all kinds of physical, financial and mental support. No, she was in this to enjoy your company as an equal, to split all the bills, and to make sure that one person in the relationship isn’t being over-burdened.

7. Her social media presence is not something that she’ll ever need to hide or be embarrassed about. She knows how to present herself in front of people, whether it’s in person or on a computer screen.

8. She is never shy in the bedroom. If there’s something that she doesn’t or does want to do, she’ll come right out and say it. She’ll even explain her reasons for it instead of just getting awkward. She doesn’t act like your intimacy is something to be hidden and never talked about. She’s mature enough to accept it as a completely normal and healthy part of your relationship, the part that actually keeps the spark alive between you two.

9. She has strong opinions on almost every topic. And she’ll never shy down from expressing them just to avoid arguments or to keep everyone happy. But this doesn’t mean that she’ll ever impose those opinions on you or anyone else. She is open to discussions and any disagreement you have won’t turn into a raging battle.

10. If you have a fight or an argument, she won’t to try to end it by stating stereotypes like ‘all men are the same’ or ‘you men can’t ever understand us’. She realizes that every situation is different and you need to discuss the cause behind your fight rather than trying to put each other down with generalized statements.

11. She is sure about her purpose in life. She has defined goals and benchmarks for herself and they won’t get affected by any obstacles that come her way.

12. You feel like the luckiest guy in the world when you’re with her. Because one thing you’re sure of is that someone as amazing as her wouldn’t just date any guy. She is a strong independent woman and she isn’t afraid of being alone – so she must really like you if she has chosen to share her life with you!

Talk to me

So, guys, have you found your high-quality woman yet? How does it feel? Let me know in the comments below!

Sourced from : http://www.relrules.com